I’m sure all boys don’t come home from camp with a few sticks of melted butter (an award, I gather) and nine wasp bites, but mine did.

While there is the requisite mound of laundry,
and the sleeping bag that I am not letting in the house,

he wasn’t anywhere near as dirty as I’d expected.
I suspect this is because I offered to pay him to shower daily, and (here’s the kicker), I also offered to pay his two best friends to act as enforcers. I seem to recall offering them all $5 a week, but one of his cronies cunningly claimed I’d offered $10, so I had to hand out a bunch of twenty dollars bills to some very pleased looking nine year olds. (This tactic worked so well that they even won awards for cleanliness. If you knew Efram, you ‘d know that being associated with clean people, let alone vanquishing others with his cleanliness, is quite out of the ordinary.)
I just spent 45 minutes getting him into the shower. He claimed he was the cleanest he’s ever been and therefore could skip a night. Nice try, buddy. You’re not going to be the ONE kid in all of America who comes home from camp and doesn’t shower because he’s too clean.
I may have been swindled by some third graders earlier today, but that dumb, I’m not.