Someone raced home from school, made a pit stop in the bathroom and headed outside in the rain.
He thought it would be awesome to toilet paper our house (this tree was only the beginning). It’s on the roof. It’s pissing rain. Hence, there is soggy toilet paper on my roof.
I caught him with a raw egg shoved in each of his pockets. Really.
I saw a grown man dressed like a bug today. I saw a small, tortured dog squeezed into a pig costume. I saw a woman dressed like an umbrella. I said, “Nice umbrella costume,” to which she replied:
“I’m a jellyfish. Whatever.”
I never really liked it, but now I officially hate Halloween. Most of all, I want to find the bugger who told Bennett about eggs and toilet paper.
Bah, humbug?