The good news is that this finally happened.
The bad news is that while I would like to say waiting for the seltzer to arrive brought out the best in me, it did not. I would also like to say that while waiting, I won the prize for most supportive wife, and most patient homeowner as M tinkered with washers and widgets and other parts which arrived in the mail in a slow trickle. Alas, I may or may not have thrown a small temper tantrum when we tried to use the seltzer machine and a flood of seltzer washed out from under the kitchen sink all over the brand new kitchen floor.
Still, he persisted. Well aware that I am not half the woman I think I am, I took myself upstairs and let everybody else deal with the bubbly mess while I lay under a blanket and breathed deeply.
When I woke up this morning, not at 3 AM, because I went back to sleep then, nor at 4:15 AM because ultimately I went back to sleep then too, but at six something when I was up for good, M called up to me, “want a glass of seltzer?”
Reader, I drank a glass. We are still working on the bubble size (I myself am of the school that the bubbles must be so large they should burn a hole on the inside of your mouth), but the seltzer tap is in. I am now soliciting recipes for the best egg creams. (By the way, that sentence just self corrected to best “best eye creams.” I don’t want to think about why that is because it makes my head hurt and my heart ache.)